so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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