I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's official drugs can't kill me
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
