either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
