I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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