dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
