Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
