So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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