I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
