i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
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I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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