she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
