Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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