Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.