I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.