Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
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I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm determined to sit on that face.