And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
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so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
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The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?