Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos