Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
