Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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