It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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