So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
