Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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