What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
