How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
