We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
