My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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