sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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