I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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