My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
