ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
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Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
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How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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