I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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