All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
