Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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