She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
