His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
