There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
