Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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