Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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