and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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