You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize