Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
