belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my phone needs a breathalizer
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
