Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
