A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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