look no pants
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
