I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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