Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
