no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
