I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
