I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize