We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
