i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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