idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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