We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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