There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
