His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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