Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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