Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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