Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
