So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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