The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
