Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize