I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
