I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
