Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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