I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
