I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
