I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
