he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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